Our History and Stuff...

The origins of The Funkabilly Playboys are shrouded in mystery.  Some say that they are the last survivors of an ancient race of superhumans driven nearly to the brink of extinction by marauding sea bats.  Others say that they have come to Earth to begin a new and advanced civilization from a dying planet in a distant galaxy, perhaps as far away as Eustis.  We may never know...and that in itself is a comfort.  Whatever the truth is, these five beings are musical gods who spew their divine gifts freely upon those fortunate enough to have working ears.

Whatever.  Okay, the story is actually a little less dramatic than that.  The genesis of The Funkabilly Playboys, like so many other wonderful things in life (beef jerky, for example) was an accident.  Literally.  Bongo was spending yet another night at The Gray Bar Motel when he inadvertently threw up in Chuck's neighboring cell room.  This naturally enough led to a chain reaction, causing Chuck to hurl.  Amazingly, they found they ralphed in the same key.

Viola!  It was, as poets often say, a magical moment!

Knowing that their destiny was to form a band, they realized that a crucial component in the attainment of their goal would be to find actual musicians who would join them.  They both understood this would not be an easy task, since actual musicians possess skill and knowledge and wisdom.  And instruments.  Actually, the instruments are probably the most important part -- the rest of that stuff is simply annoying.  Regardless, neither one of them had any of these attributes.

In any case, they soon discovered Mike and Tim and Scott at various homeless shelters around South Florida.  As luck would have it, music has much in common with pinball.  Or not.

And so the band began to distill its unique blend of music.  But the band would need a worthy name if they were going to succeed.  If they were going to test destiny.  If they were going to get paid.  They had the "funk" and the "billy."  But still something was missing.  Once again, fate smirked on them: Tim went into the bathroom with a Hustler magazine and (after a lot of pounding on the door) emerged with the solution in his hand.  This band of musical misfits would be called (insert fan fare here) The Funkabilly Playboys!

The rest, as poets often say, is history.  And no...they're not retarded.